Kitchen: 1. Kim: 0.

“I fought the knife, and the knife won…”

Or Stupid Human Tricks — cooking with Kim! Srsly. Don’t separate salmon patties with a steak knife. Use the butter knife that’s been run under hot water. Don’t get lazy just because the steak knife is there all innocent looking. It’s really out for blood. That particular knife never forgot when you used it to shred tape off of boxes.

Friday night last week I was getting ready to head up to Mom’s in the morning: packing clothes, confirming pet sitter, etc. About 10:00 I realized I was hungry and boy a salmon patty would be great. (See scenario described above.)

The cut was about .5 inch long, narrow, and clean (pictures are available if you are really curious — I document everything). The knife went through my left index finger at the base towards the inside of my finger and exited through a very small cut in between my fingers. Major ouch. Mom convinced me to head to the emergency room with the gentle voice tone of “You Are Going.” Something about uncooked fish, salmonella, and tetnus.

Not having been to the ER, I relied on my trusty GPS unit to find my way to the hospital. Entered the address and the stupid thing took me about 10 miles out of the way along a back windy road where I almost ran out of gas. I eventually arrived in the hospital after a 45 minute drive (note to self: next time just look for the “Hospital” link in the directory instead of entering the address).

Waiting in the ER and then in the treatment room always takes forever with non-life threatening issues. I brought the first book in the Twilight saga with me. Started it in the ER — and almost finished it before I arrived home some time after 4:30AM. When I was called to the back, I was in a trauma room (Resuscitation 1: really made me feel cozy).

X-rays showed no damage to tendons or the bone. Poking and prodding on the skin shows some areas may have minor nerve damage. Range of motion doesn’t seem to be impacted. Doctor put me on antibiotics for five days. I am not supposed to use my finger much until the sutures are out. So no barn, no trip to Mom’s (where I would be tempted to do stuff I shouldn’t), no nothing on a nice long weekend. I read 2600+ pages of the four novels in the Twilight saga.

The stitches come out this Friday. I’m going to the barn Friday night.

What I learned from this experience:

• Nerve blocks on your finger hurt more than the sutures.
• Don’t watch when the doctor uses a Very Long plastic needle to flush the inside of the cut, especially one that goes through a limb.
• Make sure steak knives are out of reach when separating frozen meat patties of any kind.
• If you don’t want to flinch or pull away, don’t watch what the doctor is doing.
• Don’t let the nurse give you a tetnus shot in the arm opposite to the one with the injury. You’ll be doubly disabled.
• Being ambidextrous is a big help when your primary writing hand has one finger immobilized.

I thought it was funny that a Doctor Who fan was treated by “Dr. Smith,” an alias the Doctor used in some episodes. This Dr Smith didn’t have a fob watch or neat-o looking ring with Gallifreyan script. I did look. 🙂

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