Stella had her regular appointment for fluids this morning. She is still down 4 ounces from three weeks ago. She now weighs 4 pounds, 4 ounces. I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help keep weight on her. She’s lost a lot of muscle in her hips. It’s hard for her to coordinate things. She still jumps on my shoulder while I’m sitting, so some things are still normal.

I’m supposed to go to Mom’s this weekend. I don’t know if I can take Stella with me because of the stress of travel and staying in a house with dogs (even if the dogs are locked out of the bedroom). Stella usually eats if I’m sitting with her. When she stays at the vet’s, she doesn’t eat much (if at all). When she is at home by herself, she doesn’t eat much even when my sister checks on Stella daily. The vet is supposed to call me back and let me know what she thinks.

Taking Kiesha with me to Mom’s would be …interesting. Two weeks ago, Kiesha was diagnosed with hyperthryoid. (Under 4 is normal, Kiesha was at 14.) She has to have pills twice per day. She is not happy about it, but she’s dealing with it reasonably well. Kiesha has other stress-induced problems that I don’t really want to have come up again. Kiesha probably could be put into the kennel for the weekend.

Isis is also in the middle of an IR episode. :( She has to be worked regularly. The IR flared up last week while I was at the con. Kasane is El Blimpo from having two weeks off between extreme heat and when I attended ReConstruction.

Yeah, I’m fretting. I don’t normally have two horses and two cats all with issues. Normally it’s just Isis or Stella.

Stella’s eyes are changing. Today her eyes are not very responsive to the light. When she opens them, the pupils stay wide and are slow to adjust to the light. The vet warned me on Friday that Stella might end up with detached retinas from the hypertension (high blood pressure).

Basette ended up with detached retinas as a side effect of her diabetes. The night she lost her vision, she wandered in to my office and sat by my feel like she usually did. The light caught her eyes wrong: her pupils looked like saucers filled with a murky grey-black fog. She could still follow my fingers and discern shapes.

Picture taken the night Basette went blind.

That night was the first night Basette was confined to her kitchen containment area with her food, litter, and bed all neatly arranged. Basette adapted to being blind — but she still had her hearing. (Basette only lived a few weeks after she went blind.)

Basette's self-contained world in the kitchen after she went blind.

Stella is a courageous little cat. We have both adapted to her deafness: I’m careful to tap the floor or the bed if she is asleep so I don’t startle her. How do you deal with a kitty is both blind and deaf? She’ll have to be confined (she will absolutely hate that) but it will be much safer for her. We’ll deal with that situation if we come to it.

Some mornings she is so quiet and still that I watch her chest just to make sure she is breathing. She looks so tiny and pitiful. She isn’t in pain. She still plays and goes after my hand if I don’t play with her enough. Her rear end is wobbly pretty consistently now. It doesn’t stop her from jumping up on the desk to be with me. I have taken to setting her on the floor or picking her up so she doesn’t have to jump around.

Stella is currently asleep on the desk. Her coat is in rough shape. I should give her a bath. (She will hate me.)

Stella and Kiesha on my desk.

I feel guilty for not forcing the high blood pressure meds down her throat. She was miserable from me trying (and 75% of the time failing) to force the meds. Instead of curling up with me every night she ran from me. We tried for three months to get her to take the pills. It seemed better to let her go without them. It came down to a quality of life. I chose to let her be happier… but at what expense?

She is dreaming now. Her little legs are twitching. This little cat has been with me for more than half of my life.

Kiesha, on the other hand, seems to be absolutely fine. No puking (except hairballs) and she is eating well. Like a vacuum. She purrs whenever I say her name and greets me at the front door most days. Not today though, which made me go look for her when I got home. She is curled up on my lap right now with her head tucked into my elbow while I type.

This last vet visit made me realize just how much Stella has gone downhill in the past few months. It’s been hard on her: moving, losing Ambush, and her kidney issue worsening. Instead of looking like a kitty who is half of her age, she looks like she is her age now. The vet said that she looks like she is 17. Poor little kitten. She’ll let me know when it’s her time. I hope we have more months together of her being in good health.

It’s only been a few days since Ambush past and the kitties seem to be adjusting. Kiesha periodically walks around the house yowling. When she’s called, she meows lightly and trots in for pettings. Stella has also yowled a little, but, being mostly deaf, she doesn’t hear it when I call her. Instead I find her, and she does her little “purr-ip” and trots up to me.

After Saturday, the kitties started doing something odd: they wouldn’t eat the food they shared with Ambush. Even fresh Innova Evo from the bag was untouched. The wet food flavor the kitties have eaten for the past 8 months stays in the bowl all day. Stella and Kiesha are eating the new salmon flavor Innova Evo samples I brought home. They ate all of the different flavors of wet cat food I had for Stella. But none of the flavors they ate when Ambush was here.

Kitty food selection for Stella and Kiesha, March 2010

All of the kitty beds are washed. Both kitties have stood on the beds, sniffed them, and curled up in other locations.

The odd thing is that Stella has been eating more wet food so she looks like she has gained weight. Her fur looks a little rough, so she’ll go back for fluids this week.

They both seem to be adapting to one less kitty in the house. She and Kiesha have been playing every night: galloping through the apartment like a miniature herd of elephants.

One of the things I loved about Ambush were his antics. He had to explore every where: not to necessarily get out but to just see what was on the other side.

In August 2009, Ambush decided that he was going to go on a walkabout. I had had dinner with a friend, got home kinda late, and took a shower before going to bed. It must have been about 1:00 AM or so. Just as I was about to get into bed, none of the kitties were in my room. Most nights, as soon as I walk into the bedroom the kitties are on the bed ready to cuddle. I could hear the cricket noises from outside even though all of the windows were closed.

I walked into the living room and found the front door open! Yikes! As I moved towards the front door, I checked each room. I’ve watched too many B movies to just open the door or close it without checking. My purse and computer equipment were still here. All of the kitties were out on the landing, lead by Stella (the fearless one) who was standing on the stairs. Ambush and Kiesha weren’t far away from the door. They all looked very guilty and came in as soon as they saw me.

I checked the apartment for intruders again and locked the door. I must not have closed it completely and Ambush opened it while I was in the shower. Talk about an adrenaline rush. I was up for another hour and half after that watching TV until my nerves calmed down.

It’s funny now, imagining him prying open the door and then Stella marching out like she owned everything. He always wanted to see what was out there. Seeing was usually enough. He would watch the snow fall on the porch but wouldn’t venture out into it.

He had one experience with snow. He was maybe three or four and we had the first snow with a few inches. He sat next to the glass sliding doors watching the snow flakes come down. He looked rather miffed when the door was opened and the cold air hit him. He was gently picked up and plopped in the middle of the snow. His tail puffed completely out and he shot back inside, shaking his paws while running full tilt.

He used to get on my dresser and pull out all of the hair bands so he could chase them around the house. When he was a kitten he chased balls made out of crumpled aluminum foil. Toss it down the hall, and he would carry it back in his mouth. As he got older, he only carried about half way back, and then something else would grab his attention. He would drop the ball and trot off after something else.

Probably the funniest thing about him was that he loved to have his belly rubbed. Push him lightly on his back and he would flop onto the ground. Rub his belly and scratch between his front paws and he would kneed the air with his paws. (He also let me clip his claws when he was on his back like that.)

All of the kitties are going to the vet tomorrow morning. Ambush and Stella are having fluids. Kiesha is going to be tested to see if she has a UTI like the other two, and if so, she will needs meds.

The farrier is also coming out tomorrow morning for Isis and Kasane. He’ll check Prize’s feet to find the best way to get her on the same schedule as the other girls. (Her feet look great.) Chris at the barn is going to keep an eye on the girls and let me know how they are for the farrier.

After finishing with the kitties, I’m going to head to the barn and spend the day with the girls. It’s supposed to be really pretty. I can’t wait!

Stella and Ambush had lots of quality time with the vets today. Stella got fluids and a urine test. Ambush had a urine test, spot glucose test, and blood pulled for a blood panel. The vet did preliminary urine analysis on both kitties and they both came back with UTIs.

Ambush and Stella both got antibioitics injected. Stella is very difficult to give pills to and any liquid antibiotics cause her to froth at the mouth. Ambush gets the runs from clavamox pills. Kiesha gets to go in on Saturday morning to see if she also has a UTI. Chances are she does. Last June, all three of the kitties came up with UTIs.

The vet said something interesting. Apparently when a set of kitties are well bonded and one of them gets sick, the other kitties can pick upon this and the walls of their bladders can become inflamed. Not sure if it’s a stress hormone release or what.

Stella is curled up on my lap right now, purring. Kiesha is at my feet. Ambush is some where.

I have been very lucky for the past few months. While Isis has been having trouble this year, the kitties have been healthy this fall and winter. Stella has been doing very well, even though I have not been good about getting to the vet for her fluids. Ambush still seems to be doing well on his low insulin dose and steady diet. (He is using the litter a lot — I’m going through 18 pounds of litter in about 10 days).

Kiesha has been playing with Stella every night. Both of them canter through the house and play tag. Tonight Stella played with a piece of paper on the carpet: tossed it up in the air, caught it, skittered after it across the bamboo carpet. Yup, she’s 20 going on 3.

I have the kitty beds around the desk now: Ambush on the floor to my right, square bed on the boxes to my left, and the special heated (water proof in case Stella leaks) bed on the floor near the plug. Keisha is on the square bed and Stella is on the heated bed. Ambush’s paws are twitching right now. Cute.

I’m going to Mom’s for Christmas and bringing Ambush with me. He is usually good about the drive up and doesn’t get too stressed. I’m leaving Stella and Kiesha behind in the care of my sister. Stella gets stressed when I’m not here and doesn’t eat, so I can’t be gone too long. Poor kitten. She never does well, but it would be much harder on her traveling to Mom’s and dealing with being stuck in a room with Ambush and smelling dogs that she doesn’t know.

Kiesha had a urinary tract infection. She has been on Clavamox (antibiotic) for a few days and is not doing well on them. She keeps throwing up. Poor kitty. She’s being switched to an injectable antibiotic. Hopefully this time it will help…

Ambush and Stella both seem to be doing better. Their UTIs have passed and they are romping around the house as usual.

Now that the kitties are all on their way to being healthy, it’s now hairball season. I love squishy presents in the morning!

Ceffyl has been stressed:

  • Three sick cats: two have recovered from a UTI, third might have one (or she has a behavioral issue).
  • My mare, Isis, was diagnosed with EPM (serious neurological disease) and just finished the first month of treatment. All of this started in May. If you know me, then you know this is my kid and anything that happens to her gets me Seriously Upset.
  • Unsure about my job.

I’ve had plenty of times when my horses and cats were sick. Ambush is my second diabetic cat. Isis has insulin resistance (equine metabolic disorder) which is rather like a pre-diabetic condition in a horse. She was diagnosed about five years ago, so I’m used to dealing with her special requirements. EPM is a whole second level…

However, when you’ve just spent half of your savings on your horse and cats, and suddenly the income source (with which savings can be replenished) might be gone…It’s nerve wracking.

I love my job: fun technology, gaming nights on Wednesdays, and a bunch of great people. What’s not to like? Of course, there is no official news and nothing that says I’m in danger. However, the under currents have a similar feel to other times when I’ve been laid off.

My concern about the job is not an extension of my emotional reaction to Isis’ EPM or the cats’ illnesses/misbehaving. There are specific reasons I’m concerned and they are not related to my job performance.

I know, theoretically, that there is nothing I can do about being laid off and I shouldn’t worry about it. It will either happen or it won’t.

I am being proactive, both at work and outside of work. At work, I’m making suggestions to help sales and reduce costs. Long hours, being seen, and all that. Outside of work, I’m getting my freelancing going again, I’m out networking, and I’m sending off resumes. I’ve applied for 15+ positions over the past three weeks. (Of these, two have sent rejection letters and the rest have been silent.) I’ve drummed up business leads for freelancing through networking, but no real paid gigs.

From what I’ve read on the tech writing lists, it’s very hard getting an interview much less landing a position. Employers have their pick of candidates. As a candidate, I have to be extra aggressive to make sure and contact people about my resume if I don’t hear back. I haven’t done that. Maybe I’m only half-heartedly searching because I don’t want to admit that there might be Something Bad coming.

Any way you slice it, I’m wired and stressed. I’ve used some of my stress management techniques and am carefully trying to pick my way through to juggle everything and build savings.

The barn has been my sanity and also a mixed blessing. Everything is right in the world when I’m with Isis–and then I think about Isis’ battle with EPM. Watching Isis walk around dragging her back foot has been hard — but her movement has also gotten better. She’s not dragging it as much as she was. She’s able to step underneath herself cleanly, where as in June she could barely step to the side. (Next Tuesday her blood will be tested for EPM again — and we will know if one month treatment is enough or if another month of Oh-My-God-Expensive-Stuff is needed.)

Ten weeks since I’ve ridden Isis and counting. (Although we’re getting ready to break Kasane, so I’ll be riding before Isis has fully recovered.)

Thanks for listening to the rambling vent. I could use a break but I don’t have the funds to do it. Everything is focused on freelancing, job hunting, and Isis. There comes a point when you just have to write everything out.

The kitties have been locked in my second bedroom for the past week and half. I’ve been worried about them getting into the fans and humidifiers the cleaning crew brought. These kitties are completely spoiled: their room has a cat tower for climing up to a window, three cat beds (including a new one for Stella), and an available window and ledge for each adored feline.

Unhappy kitties. Ambush hasn’t been very happy about being locked up. He has been pulling out his hair more than usual. Stella has not been eating well. She has lost weight. I have to pet her and then watch her eat. Even then, she won’t eat a full meal. Kiesha gets upset that she doesn’t have as much attention, but she has adapted overall. No messes on the floor (at least not yet).

Ambush has been doing well on his insulin dose. He is getting two units twice per day. So far, so good. I need to take him back to the vet so he can have another checkup.

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