I picked up Ambush’s ashes today: a little white box in a purple velvet bag that says “Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge.” My poor little buddy.

I held it together until the person at the clinic handed me the bag with Ambush’s ashes. I’ve cried almost every time I’ve seen something that reminds me of Ambush. Places where he used to sleep. Clothes coming out of the dryer still covered in his hair. His favorite toys scattered around the house. His box of ashes was small: tiny compared to his once 18-pound marshmallow form. The tininess of the box seemed symbolic of how much weight he had lost (9 pounds) and how, in the space of a few weeks, he had become a shell of his former self.

After you lose a pet, you catch glimpses of them in places where they used to sleep, where they used to eat, where you used to trip over them. I’ve caught glimpses of Ambush’s shadow in the kitchen sleeping on his back and on the bed in the morning. Stella and Kiesha are still wandering around at night meowing, but not as much. They seem to be adapting.

A friend asked me if I had brought Ambush’s body home to show the other kitties so they would understand that he had passed. No, I had not. It was everything I could do to stay with him as he was euthanized. I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing his body home to an apartment and then taking his body back. It was so hard to make the decision to put him down and spend those last moments with him. It’s been almost two weeks since he died and I can only just now look at his pictures without crying. (Writing this has me in tears.)

His ashes are up on the cabinet so he can watch everything going on. He’s there with Basette’s ashes. My poor two kitties who died from diabetes. (This blog was started in part to tell Basette’s and Isis’ stories.)

So Ambush is home and will stay with me in his little bag until I buy a permanent home, some place with a garden worthy of my two lost kitties.

Stella is in my lap meowing at me and pushing her face against my fingers as I try to type. There is a lightning storm outside: steady, constant rain punctuated by bursts of thunder. Fitting. Ambush would have been sleeping under my desk during a lightning storm. He never did like the noise.

It’s only been a few days since Ambush past and the kitties seem to be adjusting. Kiesha periodically walks around the house yowling. When she’s called, she meows lightly and trots in for pettings. Stella has also yowled a little, but, being mostly deaf, she doesn’t hear it when I call her. Instead I find her, and she does her little “purr-ip” and trots up to me.

After Saturday, the kitties started doing something odd: they wouldn’t eat the food they shared with Ambush. Even fresh Innova Evo from the bag was untouched. The wet food flavor the kitties have eaten for the past 8 months stays in the bowl all day. Stella and Kiesha are eating the new salmon flavor Innova Evo samples I brought home. They ate all of the different flavors of wet cat food I had for Stella. But none of the flavors they ate when Ambush was here.

Kitty food selection for Stella and Kiesha, March 2010

All of the kitty beds are washed. Both kitties have stood on the beds, sniffed them, and curled up in other locations.

The odd thing is that Stella has been eating more wet food so she looks like she has gained weight. Her fur looks a little rough, so she’ll go back for fluids this week.

They both seem to be adapting to one less kitty in the house. She and Kiesha have been playing every night: galloping through the apartment like a miniature herd of elephants.

One of the things I loved about Ambush were his antics. He had to explore every where: not to necessarily get out but to just see what was on the other side.

In August 2009, Ambush decided that he was going to go on a walkabout. I had had dinner with a friend, got home kinda late, and took a shower before going to bed. It must have been about 1:00 AM or so. Just as I was about to get into bed, none of the kitties were in my room. Most nights, as soon as I walk into the bedroom the kitties are on the bed ready to cuddle. I could hear the cricket noises from outside even though all of the windows were closed.

I walked into the living room and found the front door open! Yikes! As I moved towards the front door, I checked each room. I’ve watched too many B movies to just open the door or close it without checking. My purse and computer equipment were still here. All of the kitties were out on the landing, lead by Stella (the fearless one) who was standing on the stairs. Ambush and Kiesha weren’t far away from the door. They all looked very guilty and came in as soon as they saw me.

I checked the apartment for intruders again and locked the door. I must not have closed it completely and Ambush opened it while I was in the shower. Talk about an adrenaline rush. I was up for another hour and half after that watching TV until my nerves calmed down.

It’s funny now, imagining him prying open the door and then Stella marching out like she owned everything. He always wanted to see what was out there. Seeing was usually enough. He would watch the snow fall on the porch but wouldn’t venture out into it.

He had one experience with snow. He was maybe three or four and we had the first snow with a few inches. He sat next to the glass sliding doors watching the snow flakes come down. He looked rather miffed when the door was opened and the cold air hit him. He was gently picked up and plopped in the middle of the snow. His tail puffed completely out and he shot back inside, shaking his paws while running full tilt.

He used to get on my dresser and pull out all of the hair bands so he could chase them around the house. When he was a kitten he chased balls made out of crumpled aluminum foil. Toss it down the hall, and he would carry it back in his mouth. As he got older, he only carried about half way back, and then something else would grab his attention. He would drop the ball and trot off after something else.

Probably the funniest thing about him was that he loved to have his belly rubbed. Push him lightly on his back and he would flop onto the ground. Rub his belly and scratch between his front paws and he would kneed the air with his paws. (He also let me clip his claws when he was on his back like that.)

Ambush’s diabetes has gone into ketosis (very bad stuff for a diabetic). His glucose level was over 700 (off of the scale). It impacted how his kidneys function. Even if aggressive treatment was started, there was no telling if he would survive and what quality of life he might have. Best case scenario would have put him with a lot of trips to the vet to be constantly monitoring his blood glucose levels. I just couldn’t put him through it.

So here is to Ambush, the White Wonder Cat. My constant companion for 16 years. He will be fondly remembered and sorely missed. I sorted through my photos and found a few of him.

This is one of the last pictures of Ambush I took of Ambush on Saturday. He sat on my lap when I said good bye and purred. Soft, gentle purr, not his full-throated hear-him-from-the-next-room rumble like he did at home. He was ready to go.

Ambush, last day. Purring.

This was Bush a few years ago, in his favorite place to hide: the hamper. He was exactly as bit as the opening for it so he could watch everyone else. Notice the closet door is open. Ambush was notorious for opening any door that was closed, particularly bifold closet doors. He knew how to scratch in the middle of the door and then push his nose in to the opening at the edge of the door. He opened cabinets, doors with door knobs. Anything that was hidden he wanted to explore.

Ambush

Ambush had a plastic fetish. I came home one evening and found him surrounded by the plastic bags he had pulled out. (Click the thumbnail for a larger image.)
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Ambush was part dog, really. He would sleep on his back and periodically played fetch. His favourite thing was to chase rubber bands or hair doobies. He was self entertaining: he would hold one end of the rubber band in one paw, grasp the other end in his mouth, shoot it, and chase it. Hours of fun for the whole family.
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I will write more about his escapades later, when I’ve stopped crying.

Ambush is going to the emergency vet clinic. He isn’t doing well at all this morning. He isn’t keeping food down and he just doesn’t look right. Poor guy has thrown up three times.

I’ll post again when I know more.

I got home from the Horsemasters meeting about 10:30 last night and fed the kitties. Ambush didn’t eat much when I gave him his shot. About 20 minutes later, he threw up twice. He drank a lot of water and then refused food. I rubbed honey on his gums and stayed up to keep an eye on him. He wandered into the closet and fell asleep.

He seemed okay, until I was getting ready to go to bed. I called to him and he stood up to walk towards me — and was wobbly in his rear end and uncoordinated. He again refused his wet food so I opened a can of tuna and gave him a little. He ate it quickly and completely.

This morning he decided he didn’t want to eat his regular wet food. I opened another can of seafood cat food (Stella’s stuff) and he’s eating it like it’s going out of town. I’m being careful to not give him so much that he’ll inhale it and then throw it back up.

It’s never been hard to get Ambush to eat. If he has the same kidney issues that Stella does, then it can impact their sense of taste.

Looks like Ambush could be going back to the vet tonight…

Update 1: I spoke the vet today about Ambush. We are going to have me keep a very close eye on him. I will also be gettingmore of the wet food he ate last night. The vet wants me to try and get him back on his usual food and reduce his insulin to 1 unit over the weekend. She said there wasn’t much they could do for Ambush that I couldn’t do from home at this point (unless he gets worse).

Update 2: Ambush seemed okay when I got home tonight. I’ve fed him some wet food and he ate most of it (all of the stuff that wasn’t his regular wet food). Hopefully he’ll continue to improve.

All of the kitties are going to the vet tomorrow morning. Ambush and Stella are having fluids. Kiesha is going to be tested to see if she has a UTI like the other two, and if so, she will needs meds.

The farrier is also coming out tomorrow morning for Isis and Kasane. He’ll check Prize’s feet to find the best way to get her on the same schedule as the other girls. (Her feet look great.) Chris at the barn is going to keep an eye on the girls and let me know how they are for the farrier.

After finishing with the kitties, I’m going to head to the barn and spend the day with the girls. It’s supposed to be really pretty. I can’t wait!

Vet called me back with the results of Ambush’s blood panel. He is showing early stages of kidney problems and needs to start getting fluids like Stella. He only needs them once per week instead of twice per week.

He dropped three pounds since August. That is a lot of weight. :(

I may be asked to start doing blood glucose levels on him at home my pricking his ear. Will find out more on Saturday.

Stella and Ambush had lots of quality time with the vets today. Stella got fluids and a urine test. Ambush had a urine test, spot glucose test, and blood pulled for a blood panel. The vet did preliminary urine analysis on both kitties and they both came back with UTIs.

Ambush and Stella both got antibioitics injected. Stella is very difficult to give pills to and any liquid antibiotics cause her to froth at the mouth. Ambush gets the runs from clavamox pills. Kiesha gets to go in on Saturday morning to see if she also has a UTI. Chances are she does. Last June, all three of the kitties came up with UTIs.

The vet said something interesting. Apparently when a set of kitties are well bonded and one of them gets sick, the other kitties can pick upon this and the walls of their bladders can become inflamed. Not sure if it’s a stress hormone release or what.

Stella is curled up on my lap right now, purring. Kiesha is at my feet. Ambush is some where.

I went to take a nap and Stella curled up next to me under the covers. She jumped back out from the covers, went underneath, and came back out. She couldn’t settle in one place. She kept on stopping and then meowing almost like a bark. I put her in the bathroom with food. I’m going to take her to the vet first thing in the morning. She curled up in the cat bed in the bathroom and didn’t protest when I closed the door.

Ambush is also going to go to the vet tomorrow. He needs to have his blood glucose levels checked. He’s lost weight over the past two weeks or so and his coat isn’t looking well. I’m wondering if maybe all of the kitties have UTIs again like they did last June.

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