I found this online a while back. I originally got something like this when the “you know you are a horse person” emails went around. I can certainly relate to most of the things in the list. Variations on this theme are on quite a few web sites.

You know you are a horse person when…

…Your horse has had medical insurance when you did not. (That’s me all right.)

  • You realize finding a horseshoe truly is lucky because you’ve saved ten bucks.
  • Every time you drive past a construction site, you think what nice jumps the barricades would make.
  • You consider a golf course as a waste of good pastureland.
  • You pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,700 pickup truck.
  • When your six year old tells everyone that he’s going to be the “ring steward” at your aunt’s wedding!
  • You’re seriously considering an even trade of your 1998 Buick for a 1986 Diesel crewcab dually pickup truck.
  • Your friends no longer ask to get together with you on a weekend afternoon because they know you’ll say — “I can’t, I have a show/penning/rodeo/trail ride.”
  • You dress like a lawyer on weekdays, and someone who needs a lawyer on your days off.
  • You’ll drive an hour in a snowstorm to ride your horse, but God forbid you have to drive 5 minutes to the store to buy groceries.
  • You plan your pregnancy around the show season so you can send your horse to the trainer during the eighth and ninth months.
  • You buy duct tape by the case, and carry a roll in your pocketbook, your briefcase, and the console of your car.
  • Your boyfriend complains that you love your horse more than him and you say, “And your point is?”
  • Your someone does something nice for you and you say, “good boy”, and pat him on the neck.
  • You’re trying to get by someone in a restricted space, and instead of saying, “excuse me”, you poke them in the ribs and say, “get over”.
  • Your horse gets new shoes more often than you.
  • You get to the point where flies don’t bug you anymore.
  • Your Mother, who has no grandchildren, gets cards addressed to Grandma, signed by the horses and the dog.
  • You see the vet more than your child’s pediatrician.
  • You clean tack after every ride, but never ever wash your car.
  • On rainy days, you organize the tack room, and not the house.
  • You stop channel surfing at the Budweiser Clydesdale commercials.
  • You have more pictures of your horse in your locker/office that you have of your family.
  • When going up a hill, you cluck to your car.
  • You pay more for a saddle than you did for your car!
  • Your horses’ mane and tail look better than your hair does.
  • Your tack box isn’t in your car, it IS your car.
  • Your evening attire is yesterday’s jeans, an old T-shirt and mucking boots.
  • A fly lands on your leg you stomp your foot instead of swatting it.
  • You say you are going to muck out your room.
  • You call your shed a barn.
  • You find hay in your bathtub, horse treats scattered around the house, horsehair on your work clothes, and hoof shaped bruises on your feet!
  • You are sick you say you’re going to see the vet.
  • You are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the bridle shop, then you are disappointed when you realize they mean the bridal shop.
  • You have the vet’s number but not the kid’s pediatrician on your speed dial.
  • Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.
  • Your nice clothes are the ones without horsehair all over them.

Kim (Ceffyl)

Writing rider.


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