Or maybe just save my sanity.

It’s been five months since Kasane died. I realized this afternoon when a friend of mine asked what had happened. I looked at the clock and realized it was almost the same time I had made the decision to put Kasane down. 4:30 PM.

I held it together long enough to get through the last meeting of the day, and then I lost it. All of the grief I had bottled came welling out, I cried for an hour or more. I was supposed to ride, but there was no way I was going to.

So I visited Breezy and Andromeda and love on them because I couldn’t love on the one I missed. They knew something was up and kept a close eye on me the entire time I was there (at least until the hay lady came by).

Andromeda walked to me first, stayed by me. Breezy came over, moved Andromeda just a little bit away because Breezy is lead mare and this is HER human. I groomed them and told them how thankful I am for them.


I don’t know how I would have gotten through Kasane’s passing without my girls. This was one of the first times Andromeda came over and helped me deal with grief. She’s part of my herd now. She’s Kasane’s last gift to me.

Kim (Ceffyl)

Writing rider.


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