February 15, 2007

Horses and lightbulbs

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This is from a horse mailing list I’m on. Good chuckle.

How many horses does it take to change a lightbulb?

Thoroughbred: Who, ME?? Do WHAT? I’m scared of lightbulbs…I’m outta here!

Arabian: I changed it an hour ago. Come on you guys, catch up!

Quarter Horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.

Standardbred: Oh for Pete’s sake, give me the darn bulb and let’s be done with it!

Shetland: Give it to me. I’ll kill it and then we won’t have to worry about it anymore.

Friesian: I would do it, but I can’t see where I’m going with all this mane.

Belgian: Put the Shetland on my back. Maybe he can reach it then.

Warmblood: Doesn’t anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the Thoroughbred come back here and do it.

Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Pleeeaase let me! I wanna do it! I’m gonna do it! I know how, really do! Just watch! I’ll rewire the barn afterwards, too.

Appaloosa: Y’all are a bunch of losers. We don’t need to change the lightbulb, I ain’t scared of the dark. And someone make that darn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double-barrel him.

Haflinger: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?

Mustang: Lightbulb? Let’s go on a trail ride instead. And camp. Out in the open, like REAL horses.

Lippizan: Hah, amateurs. I will change the lightbulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn’t think so.

Miniature: I bet you think I can’t do it because I’m small. You know what that is? It’s sizeism!

Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it’s my owner’s lightbulb and no one else has ever touched it.

Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the lightbulb to my personal groom, after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle…but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.

Cleveland Bay: I’m busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.

Saddlebred: My ears are up already, please, please get the light bulb away from me! I’m ready to show, really, I promise I’ll win!

Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.

POA: I’m not changing it. I’m the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now excuse me, I have a feed room to break into.

Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and changed it while you were all arguing.

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